Proper Prayer Life: Coming Before God With a Genuine Heart in Prayer

By Pastor Joel – Open Heaven Christian Church – Fisher, Arkansas

Prayer is supposed to be one of the most personal and intimate things a Christian does.

Yet sometimes prayer can become something very different.

Instead of speaking honestly to God from the heart, people can learn religious phrases, repeat familiar sentences, imitate the prayers of others, and eventually say words without really thinking about what they are saying.

A person can kneel down and pray for twenty minutes while their heart is somewhere else.

They can say all the “right” words and still never truly open their heart before God.

But genuine prayer is not about impressing God with beautiful vocabulary, long sentences, religious terminology, or a particular prayer formula.

God wants your heart.

He wants you to come to Him honestly.

He wants you to talk to Him.

He wants you to cry to Him when you are hurting.

He wants you to thank Him when you are blessed.

He wants you to confess when you have sinned.

He wants you to ask when you have a need.

He wants you to seek Him when you do not know what to do.

And sometimes the most genuine prayer you can pray is only a few words.

“Lord, help me.”

That is prayer.

“Father, I am afraid.”

That is prayer.

“Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”

That is prayer.

“God be merciful to me a sinner.”

That is prayer.

The question is not whether your prayer sounds religious.

The question is whether your heart is truly talking to God.

Jesus Warned Us About Empty Prayer

Jesus gave one of the clearest warnings in the New Testament concerning the way we approach prayer.

Matthew 6:7-8 says:

“But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.”

Notice what Jesus said.

He did not say that we should never pray about the same thing more than once.

He said:

“use not vain repetitions.”

The problem is not repetition itself.

The problem is vain repetition—words being repeated without genuine meaning, faith, sincerity, or engagement of the heart.

Jesus specifically said that the heathen thought they would be heard because of their “much speaking.”

In other words, prayer is not a competition to see who can say the most words.

God is not impressed by vocabulary.

God is not impressed by religious performance.

God does not need us to give Him information that He does not already know.

He wants us to come to Him.

Prayer Is About Relationship, Not Religious Performance

Think about the difference between talking to someone you genuinely love and giving a speech to a stranger.

When you love someone, you do not need a script.

You can simply say what is in your heart.

You might say:

“I’m hurting.”

“I don’t understand this.”

“I’m thankful.”

“I need your help.”

“I was wrong.”

“Please forgive me.”

“I’m scared.”

“Please give me wisdom.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I love you.”

That is personal communication.

Prayer is communication with God.

Jesus taught us to address God as “Our Father.”

Matthew 6:9 says:

“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.”

God is not a distant idol that requires magical words before He will listen.

For those who belong to Christ, He is Father.

That should completely change the way we approach prayer.

Look at the Prayers Jesus Actually Prayed

One of the best ways to understand proper prayer is to stop listening to what people say prayer is supposed to sound like and look at the prayers recorded in Scripture.

Jesus Himself gives us the example.

And many of His recorded prayers are remarkably simple.

“Father, forgive them”

While Jesus was hanging upon the cross, suffering unimaginable physical and spiritual agony, He prayed:

Luke 23:34:

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

Look at how simple that prayer is.

“Father, forgive them.”

Jesus did not give a lengthy speech.

He did not use complicated religious terminology.

He spoke directly to His Father from the middle of His suffering.

That is heartfelt prayer.

“Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit”

As Jesus approached death on the cross, He prayed:

Luke 23:46:

“Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.”

Again, extremely simple.

“Father…”

Jesus spoke directly to God.

“…into thy hands…”

He expressed surrender.

“…I commend my spirit.”

He trusted His Father.

There is enormous theology in those few words, but the prayer itself is simple.

This is an important lesson:

A prayer does not have to be long to be deep.

“Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done”

Perhaps one of the most powerful examples of genuine prayer is found in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Jesus knew what was coming.

He knew He was going to the cross.

He knew He was going to suffer.

Luke 22:42 records His prayer:

“Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”

This was not a religious performance.

Jesus expressed what He was facing.

He brought His desire honestly before His Father:

“Remove this cup from me.”

But He surrendered Himself completely:

“Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”

That is genuine prayer.

Jesus did not pretend that suffering did not hurt.

He did not pretend that He did not desire another outcome.

He honestly expressed His heart while submitting His will to the Father.

That is something Christians desperately need to understand.

Faith does not require us to pretend that we are not hurting.

We can tell God exactly how we feel while still trusting Him completely.

Jesus Repeated His Prayer—But It Wasn’t Vain Repetition

This is important because some people misunderstand Matthew 6:7.

Jesus warned against vain repetition, but Jesus Himself prayed repeatedly in Gethsemane.

Matthew 26:44 says:

“And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.”

Jesus prayed the same words.

Therefore, repeating a prayer cannot automatically be sinful.

The issue is the heart behind the repetition.

Jesus was not mechanically repeating meaningless words.

He was genuinely crying out to His Father during an intensely difficult moment.

There is a tremendous difference between:

“Lord, I am hurting. Please help me.”

and mechanically repeating words simply because you believe saying them enough times will cause God to respond.

One is relationship.

The other can become ritual.

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

Jesus also prayed from the depths of His suffering.

Matthew 27:46 records:

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

Consider how raw those words sound.

Jesus was not pretending.

He was expressing the agony He was experiencing.

There is something here that modern Christians sometimes forget:

God is not frightened by your honest emotions.

You do not have to hide your pain from God.

You do not have to clean up your emotions before coming to Him.

You can bring your fear.

You can bring your confusion.

You can bring your grief.

You can bring your disappointment.

You can bring your questions.

You can bring your weakness.

You can bring your repentance.

And you can bring all of it directly before God.

The Disciples Also Prayed Simple, Direct Prayers

The early church gives us additional examples.

Consider Acts 4.

Peter and John had been threatened by the religious authorities and commanded not to speak or teach in the name of Jesus.

The believers gathered together and prayed.

Their prayer is recorded in Acts 4:24:

“Lord, thou art God, which hast made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and all that in them is:”

They acknowledged who God was.

Then they explained what had happened.

They did not pretend everything was fine.

They told God exactly what they were facing.

Then they asked:

Acts 4:29:

“And now, Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word,”

Notice what they did not pray.

They did not primarily pray:

“Lord, make our lives comfortable.”

They did not say:

“Lord, remove every difficult person from our lives.”

They prayed:

“Grant unto thy servants…boldness.”

They wanted the strength to continue obeying God.

And God answered them.

Acts 4:31 says:

“And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness.”

That is powerful prayer.

Peter’s Three-Word Prayer

One of the simplest prayers in the New Testament came from Peter.

Matthew 14:30 says:

“But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.”

Three words:

“Lord, save me.”

Peter was drowning.

He did not have time to construct an impressive prayer.

He did not have time to find the proper religious vocabulary.

He did not have time to formulate a theological dissertation.

He cried out:

“Lord, save me.”

And Jesus immediately responded.

Matthew 14:31:

“And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him…”

There is a lesson here.

When you are drowning spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, or in circumstances you cannot control, you do not need a beautiful speech.

You can simply cry:

“Lord, save me.”

The Publican’s Prayer

Jesus also gave us the example of a man who could not even lift his eyes toward heaven.

Luke 18:13 says:

“And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.”

That was his prayer.

“God be merciful to me a sinner.”

Jesus said this man went home justified rather than the self-righteous religious man who prayed about himself.

Luke 18:14:

“I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other…”

Why?

Because God was looking at the heart.

The religious man’s prayer was filled with himself.

The publican’s prayer was filled with humility and repentance.

The Blind Man’s Simple Cry

Bartimaeus cried out to Jesus:

Mark 10:47:

“Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.”

The people tried to silence him.

But he cried even more.

Mark 10:48:

“but he cried the more a great deal, Thou son of David, have mercy on me.”

There was nothing polished about this prayer.

It was desperate.

It was personal.

It was persistent.

And Jesus stopped.

Mark 10:49:

“And Jesus stood still…”

Think about that.

Jesus stood still because a man cried out to Him.

Paul Had a Simple Prayer for His “Thorn”

Paul repeatedly asked God to remove his thorn in the flesh.

2 Corinthians 12:8 says:

“For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.”

Paul asked.

He asked again.

He asked again.

This was not vain repetition.

It was genuine petition.

But God’s answer was different from what Paul requested.

2 Corinthians 12:9:

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

Paul then accepted God’s answer.

This teaches us something crucial:

Proper prayer does not mean getting God to say yes to everything we ask.

Proper prayer means bringing our heart before God and trusting Him with the answer.

What Is Wrong With Many Modern Prayers?

We need to be careful here.

There is nothing inherently wrong with praying long prayers, praying Scripture, praying formally, praying publicly, or using familiar expressions.

The problem occurs when the words become disconnected from the heart.

A person may say:

“Father God, we just come before You today, Lord, and we just ask that You would just bless us, Lord, and we just pray that You would bless this day, Lord, and bless everyone here, Lord, and guide us and direct us and keep us and watch over us…”

And then repeat essentially the same prayer every day.

There may be nothing wrong with any individual sentence.

But eventually a person can become so accustomed to saying the words that they no longer actually mean the words.

That is where prayer can become ritualistic.

Jesus warned:

“they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.”

God does not measure prayer by the number of words.

Religious Words Are Not the Same as Genuine Prayer

A prayer can sound extremely spiritual while the heart is completely disengaged.

Someone can say:

“Father, we thank You for this blessed and glorious opportunity to come into Your holy presence…”

But perhaps they are not actually thankful.

Someone can say:

“Lord, we surrender everything to You…”

But perhaps they are still determined to control everything themselves.

Someone can say:

“Lord, have Your way…”

But perhaps they become angry when God does not answer according to their wishes.

Someone can say:

“Lord, we trust You…”

But inside they are consumed with fear.

God sees beyond the words.

1 Samuel 16:7 says:

“for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.”

That applies to prayer too.

God Wants Truth in the Heart

Psalm 51:6 says:

“Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts…”

God desires truth.

That means we should stop pretending before Him.

If you are angry, tell God.

If you are afraid, tell God.

If you are confused, tell God.

If you are grieving, tell God.

If you have sinned, confess it.

If you are thankful, thank Him.

If you need help, ask Him.

If you do not know what to pray, tell Him that too.

You do not have to perform for God.

He already knows you completely.

Prayer Does Not Have to Sound Like Somebody Else

One of the greatest dangers in prayer is learning to pray like somebody else instead of learning to talk to God yourself.

Perhaps you have heard a pastor pray.

Perhaps you have heard someone pray publicly who has an impressive vocabulary.

Perhaps you have heard prayers that contain long theological expressions.

Those prayers may be completely sincere.

But you do not need to imitate their language.

God is not asking you to become someone else.

He wants you to come as you are.

A child does not need to use sophisticated language when speaking to his father.

Likewise, genuine prayer does not require impressive vocabulary.

You can say:

“Father, I need You.”

“Lord, I don’t understand.”

“Jesus, please help me.”

“Lord, forgive me.”

“Father, thank You.”

“Lord, give me wisdom.”

“Jesus, strengthen me.”

“Lord, help me forgive this person.”

“Father, I am worried. Help me trust You.”

Those are prayers.

Jesus Gave Us a Pattern—Not a Magic Formula

Jesus did give His disciples what is commonly called the Lord’s Prayer.

Matthew 6:9-13 begins:

“Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.”

But notice what Jesus said immediately before giving it.

Matthew 6:9 says:

“After this manner therefore pray ye…”

He gave them a pattern.

He did not give them a magical collection of words that must be mechanically repeated in order for God to hear them.

The prayer teaches us principles:

Recognize God as Father.

Honor His name.

Seek His kingdom.

Seek His will.

Ask for daily provision.

Ask forgiveness.

Forgive others.

Ask for protection from temptation and evil.

Those principles should shape our prayer life.

Genuine Prayer Can Be Extremely Simple

Consider some of the prayers recorded in Scripture:

Peter:

“Lord, save me.” — Matthew 14:30

The publican:

“God be merciful to me a sinner.” — Luke 18:13

The blind man:

“Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.” — Mark 10:47

Jesus:

“Father, forgive them.” — Luke 23:34

Jesus:

“Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.” — Luke 23:46

Jesus:

“Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” — Luke 22:42

The disciples:

“Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants…boldness…” — Acts 4:29

These prayers are not complicated.

But they are profound.

Why?

Because they came from genuine hearts.

We Should Also Learn From the Psalms

Although this article is focusing heavily on New Testament examples, the same principle is found throughout Scripture.

David did not hide his emotions from God.

He cried.

He questioned.

He rejoiced.

He confessed.

He worshipped.

He pleaded.

He waited.

He sometimes expressed tremendous anguish.

Psalm 62:8 says:

“trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.”

Notice those words:

“pour out your heart.”

God does not merely want your religious vocabulary.

He wants your heart.

Prayer Should Be Honest, But It Must Also Be Reverent

There is an important balance here.

Genuine prayer does not mean treating God casually or disrespectfully.

God is still holy.

Ecclesiastes 5:2 says:

“Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.”

We should approach God with reverence.

But reverence does not require artificial religious language.

You can be deeply reverent while speaking very simply.

For example:

“Father, I have sinned against You. I know what I did was wrong. Please forgive me and help me not to do it again.”

That may be far more genuine than a five-minute prayer filled with religious expressions that the person does not actually mean.

Don’t Be Afraid to Tell God the Truth

Perhaps you are struggling with something right now.

Maybe you are afraid.

Instead of pretending, pray:

“Father, I am afraid. You already know that. I need Your help. Give me peace and help me trust You.”

Maybe you are angry.

Pray:

“Lord, I am angry. I know You see my heart. Help me deal with this anger in a righteous way. Help me forgive.”

Maybe you are confused.

Pray:

“Lord, I don’t know what to do. Please give me wisdom and show me the right way.”

Maybe you have sinned.

Pray:

“Father, I sinned. I was wrong. Please forgive me. Help me turn away from this and obey You.”

Maybe you are thankful.

Say:

“Father, thank You. I know this came from You, and I am grateful.”

That is real prayer.

Don’t Turn Prayer Into a Performance

Jesus strongly condemned religious performance.

Matthew 6:5 says:

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.”

The problem was not that they prayed publicly.

The problem was why they prayed publicly.

They wanted to be seen.

That is the opposite of genuine prayer.

True prayer is not about impressing the congregation.

It is about meeting with God.

Private Prayer Reveals the Real Prayer Life

Jesus said:

Matthew 6:6:

“But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret…”

Public prayer can be beautiful.

But private prayer reveals something different.

When nobody else is listening, what do you say to God?

Do you still pray?

Do you still seek Him?

Do you still thank Him?

Do you still confess your sins?

Do you still cry out to Him?

Do you still worship Him?

Do you still ask Him for guidance?

That is where a genuine prayer life is developed.

A Proper Prayer Life Is a Living Relationship

Prayer should not be limited to a few scheduled moments when we repeat the same words.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says:

“Pray without ceasing.”

This does not mean that Christians must literally speak words every second of the day.

It means that prayer should become a continual part of our relationship with God.

You can speak to God throughout the day.

Driving:

“Lord, keep me safe.”

Working:

“Lord, give me wisdom.”

Facing a difficult person:

“Jesus, help me respond correctly.”

Seeing something beautiful:

“Father, thank You for this.”

Feeling tempted:

“Lord, help me.”

Remembering someone who needs prayer:

“Father, please help them.”

Receiving an unexpected blessing:

“Thank You, Lord.”

That is living prayer.

Prayer Is Not About Finding the Perfect Words

Romans 8:26 gives us tremendous encouragement:

“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought…”

Sometimes you will not know what to say.

Sometimes you will be so broken that words barely come.

Sometimes all you can say is:

“Jesus.”

Sometimes:

“Help me.”

Sometimes:

“Father, I need You.”

Do not think that God refuses to hear you because your prayer is not eloquent.

God knows the heart.

The Difference Between Repetition and Vain Repetition

This distinction is extremely important.

Repetition can be genuine.

Jesus prayed repeatedly in Gethsemane.

Paul prayed three times concerning his thorn.

The blind man repeatedly cried out to Jesus.

Persistence is biblical.

Vain repetition is different.

Vain repetition occurs when words become empty.

When someone repeats words without engaging their heart.

When someone believes the number of words will manipulate God.

When prayer becomes a ritual performed rather than a relationship experienced.

When the mouth is speaking but the heart is absent.

That is what Jesus warned against.

Don’t Pray to Impress God

You cannot impress God.

He already knows everything about you.

Psalm 139:4 says:

“For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, thou knowest it altogether.”

God knows what you are going to say before you say it.

So stop trying to impress Him.

Talk to Him.

Don’t Pray to Impress Other People

Prayer should never become a performance designed to make other Christians think you are more spiritual than you really are.

Jesus warned against this.

If your private prayer life consists of five simple sentences but those five sentences come from your heart, do not feel inferior to someone who can pray for thirty minutes using impressive language.

God sees the heart.

The goal is not to sound spiritual.

The goal is to be sincere.

A Simple Pattern for Genuine Prayer

There is nothing wrong with having a pattern for prayer, as long as the pattern does not become empty ritual.

You might simply begin:

1. Speak to God

“Father, I come to You because I need You.”

2. Tell Him what is really happening

“Father, this situation is hurting me.”

3. Tell Him what you need

“Please give me wisdom.”

4. Confess anything that needs to be confessed

“Lord, forgive me for the way I responded.”

5. Thank Him

“Thank You for not abandoning me.”

6. Surrender the outcome

“Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine, be done.”

7. End by trusting Him

“I don’t know what You are going to do, but I trust You.”

That can be a genuine prayer.

What If You Don’t Know How to Pray?

Start with the truth.

You do not have to know what to say.

Tell God:

“Father, I don’t even know how to pray right now.”

That itself is prayer.

Then remain before Him.

Read His Word.

Think about His promises.

Confess what needs to be confessed.

Thank Him for what you know He has done.

Ask Him for what you need.

And listen.

Prayer is not merely talking.

A relationship with God also requires that we allow His Word to speak to us.

Genuine Prayer Produces Genuine Change

Prayer is not merely asking God to change circumstances.

Sometimes God changes the circumstances.

Sometimes God changes us.

Jesus entered Gethsemane facing the cross.

He prayed.

The Father did not remove the cross.

But Jesus surrendered Himself completely to the Father’s will.

That is one of the greatest lessons about prayer in all of Scripture.

Sometimes the answer to:

“Lord, remove this from me”

is:

“My grace is sufficient for thee.”

Prayer does not always change the situation.

Sometimes prayer changes the person walking through the situation.

Come to God Without the Religious Mask

Perhaps this is the greatest lesson of all.

Take off the religious mask.

You do not have to pretend before God.

He already knows.

If you are broken, come broken.

If you are confused, come confused.

If you are hurting, come hurting.

If you are joyful, come joyful.

If you have sinned, come repentant.

If you need help, come needy.

If you are afraid, come afraid.

If you are thankful, come thankful.

But come.

Hebrews 4:16 says:

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

That is the invitation.

Come.

Not perform.

Not pretend.

Not impress.

Not recite empty words.

Come.

A Proper Prayer Life Begins With the Heart

The Christian prayer life should become more than a religious obligation.

It should become a daily relationship with the living God.

Sometimes your prayer may be long.

Sometimes it may be short.

Sometimes you may pray Scripture.

Sometimes you may simply cry.

Sometimes you may have many words.

Sometimes you may have almost none.

There is nothing wrong with repetition when it is sincere.

There is nothing wrong with long prayer when it comes from the heart.

There is nothing wrong with short prayer when it expresses genuine faith.

The issue is not the length.

The issue is not the vocabulary.

The issue is not whether your prayer sounds impressive.

The issue is the heart.

Jesus said:

“for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” — Matthew 6:8

So when you pray, remember who you are talking to.

You are talking to your Father.

You are talking to the One who already knows you.

You are talking to the One who sees what nobody else sees.

You are talking to the One who knows your thoughts, your fears, your failures, your desires, your weaknesses, and your needs.

You do not need to impress Him.

You need to be honest with Him.

Just Talk to God

The next time you pray, do something different.

Do not worry about sounding religious.

Do not worry about using impressive words.

Do not worry about making your prayer long enough.

Do not worry about copying somebody else’s prayer.

Just come before God.

And talk to Him.

Say what is really in your heart.

If you need forgiveness, ask.

If you need help, ask.

If you are hurting, tell Him.

If you are thankful, thank Him.

If you are afraid, tell Him.

If you do not understand, tell Him.

If you need wisdom, ask Him.

If you have nothing left to say, simply remain before Him.

And above everything else, remember the prayer of Jesus:

“Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”

That is the heart of a proper prayer life.

Not my will.

Thy will.

Not religious performance.

Relationship.

Not empty words.

Truth.

Not trying to impress God.

Trusting God.

Not merely talking about God.

Talking to God.

And sometimes the most powerful prayer you will ever pray will be nothing more than:

“Father, I need You.”

And He already knows.