THEY PROVOKED YOU, BROKE YOU, AND THEN USED YOUR REACTION AGAINST YOU
By Pastor Joel – Open Heaven Christian Church – Fisher, Arkansas
When people deliberately wound you in private and then publicly portray you as the problem.
Have you ever been…
Pushed until you cried?
Provoked until you snapped?
Rejected until you begged for reassurance?
Emotionally wounded until you could barely hold yourself together?
Deliberately mistreated until your emotional exhaustion became visible?
Then told everybody that you were unstable, emotional, difficult, unreasonable, and impossible to please?
How convenient for them!
The cruelty was private, done in secrecy. It was calculated, deliberate, and premeditated. Yet your emotional breakdown became public knowledge so that others could be persuaded to believe that something was wrong with you.
And suddenly, everybody was discussing your emotional reactions instead of discussing who mistreated you, what they did, how they treated you, and what brought you to that breaking point.
Instead of examining the wrongdoing, they examined your response to the wrongdoing.
Instead of questioning the people who inflicted the wounds, they questioned the person who was bleeding.
Instead of holding the guilty accountable, they made the suffering person defend their emotional condition.
That is a terrible injustice, and Scripture has much to say about it. The outcome was far worse for those who partook in the intended evil, and the outcome will be far worse for those who deliberately had their hand in trying to destroy you and your life.
Experiencing deep betrayal and deliberate harm is painful, and it is natural to look to Scripture for comfort, perspective, and the assurance of justice when wronged. Throughout the Bible, many figures faced malicious plots from others, and these accounts consistently emphasize divine accountability and ultimate restoration.
Let’s look at some biblical examples found in the Scriptures…
THE BIBLICAL PATTERN OF PROVOKING SOMEONE AND THEN USING THEIR REACTION AGAINST THEM
This pattern can be part of emotional abuse and psychological manipulation.
It can leave a person ensnared in guilt, confusion, self-doubt, and the belief that they somehow caused everything that happened to them.
People can deliberately provoke another person, repeatedly reject them, humiliate them, mistreat them, and then use the resulting emotional distress as supposed evidence that the person was the problem all along.
They may even recruit other people to believe their version of events while concealing their own conduct.
But God is not fooled by carefully constructed reputations, religious appearances, or one-sided accounts that cause harm in another person’s life.
Proverbs 6:16-19 (KJV) identifies seven things that the LORD hates, including a lying tongue, a false witness that speaks lies, and someone who sows discord among brethren.
Proverbs 26:24-26 (KJV) explains that a person may conceal hatred through deceptive speech, but wickedness will eventually be exposed before the congregation.
Luke 8:17 (KJV) teaches that nothing hidden will remain concealed forever and that what is secret will eventually be brought into the light.
Ecclesiastes 12:14 (KJV) reminds us that God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil.
You might convince an entire congregation that you are not the problem, but you cannot convince God to believe a lie.
BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE WHO WERE PROVOKED, FALSELY ACCUSED, AND MISTREATED
The Bible contains numerous accounts of people who were deliberately mistreated, falsely represented, rejected, slandered, and persecuted by others. Some of these individuals experienced the very pattern of having their suffering misunderstood while their persecutors continued to enjoy their “reputations”.
1. DAVID: SAUL TRIED TO DESTROY HIM, EVEN THOUGH DAVID HAD DONE HIM NO WRONG
1 Samuel 18:6-11; 1 Samuel 19:1-10; 1 Samuel 20:30-33; 1 Samuel 24:1-22; 1 Samuel 26:1-25
David served King Saul faithfully. He fought Israel’s enemies, demonstrated loyalty, and brought victories to the kingdom. Yet Saul became jealous of David and repeatedly attempted to kill him.
David was forced to flee, hide in caves, and live under constant threat.
What makes this account particularly important is that David had opportunities to retaliate against Saul but refused to take vengeance into his own hands.
1 Samuel 24:17 (KJV) records Saul acknowledging that David was more righteous than he was because David had repaid evil with good.
The lesson: Sometimes the person who has been mistreated is the very person who has demonstrated the greatest restraint. David’s refusal to retaliate did not mean Saul’s behavior was acceptable. God eventually dealt with Saul – He died by his own sword, and God promoted David to become King over Israel.
2. JOSEPH: HIS OWN BROTHERS BETRAYED HIM AND THEN LIED ABOUT WHAT THEY HAD DONE
Genesis 37:3-36; Genesis 39:1-23; Genesis 40:1-23; Genesis 41:1-57; Genesis 45:1-15; Genesis 50:15-21
Joseph was hated by his own brothers. They conspired against him, threw him into a pit, and sold him into slavery.
He was separated from his family, falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife, and imprisoned despite his innocence.
Consider what happened: Joseph was punished for something he did not do.
His brothers had created the circumstances that brought tremendous suffering into his life, and Potiphar’s wife used a false accusation to destroy his reputation.
Yet God had not abandoned Joseph.
Genesis 50:20 (KJV) records Joseph telling his brothers that although they intended evil against him, God meant it unto good.
The lesson: People may deliberately intend to destroy your life, but their intentions do not determine God’s purposes for your life. Their wrongdoing does not escape God’s knowledge or judgment of God.
3. HANNAH: SHE WAS PROVOKED UNTIL SHE WAS DEEPLY DISTRESSED
1 Samuel 1:1-20
Hannah experienced deep emotional suffering because she was unable to have children. Her husband’s other wife, Peninnah, repeatedly provoked her and made her miserable.
The Bible specifically says Peninnah provoked Hannah sore, to make her fret.
Hannah eventually wept and could not eat.
When she went to the house of the LORD and prayed in anguish, Eli the priest misunderstood what he was witnessing and accused her of being drunk.
Think about that!
A woman was already suffering because of someone else’s continual provocation, and when her distress became visible, even a “religious leader” misunderstood her condition.
But God knew what was happening in Hannah’s heart.
1 Samuel 1:10 (KJV) says Hannah was in bitterness of soul and prayed unto the LORD, weeping sore.
1 Samuel 1:15 (KJV) records Hannah explaining that she was a woman of a sorrowful spirit.
God heard her prayer and eventually gave her Samuel.
The lesson: People may misunderstand your tears, your emotional distress, and even your reasons for crying. But God knows the difference between someone behaving wickedly and someone suffering deeply.
4. JOB: HIS FRIENDS ACCUSED HIM INSTEAD OF COMFORTING HIM
A sick man named Job lost his family and everything he owned, his health, and the ones who should have been comforting him (Job’s religious friends); instead of defending Job, they accused him of wrongdoing.
Job 1; Job 2; Job 4; Job 8; Job 11; Job 16; Job 19; Job 22; Job 42
Job endured extraordinary suffering. He lost his possessions, his children, his health, and his sense of security, and marital problems.
Instead of offering the compassion he needed, his friends repeatedly suggested that his suffering must have been caused by his own wickedness. They shifted the blame onto Job.
They made accusations without understanding what had really happened.
Job repeatedly defended his integrity while enduring the added emotional burden of being misunderstood by the very people who should have comforted him.
Job 16:2 (KJV) describes his friends as miserable comforters.
Job 19:2 (KJV) records Job asking how long they would continue to vex his soul and break him in pieces with their words.
Job 42:7-8 is particularly important. God rebuked Job’s friends and not Job because they had not spoken rightly concerning Him as Job had.
The lesson: Not everybody who claims to be helping you is actually helping you. Some people can add to your suffering by making accusations, assuming the worst, and refusing to listen to you about what has really happened.
God Himself corrected Job’s friends who were ill; then God turned everything around, and the very people who targeted him had to humble themselves and come to Job to be healed of their sicknesses.
5. NEHEMIAH: HIS ENEMIES MOCKED HIM AND TRIED TO DISCOURAGE HIS WORK
Nehemiah 2:10, Nehemiah 2:19-20; Nehemiah 4:1-23; Nehemiah 6:1-14
Nehemiah was attempting to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Instead of supporting the work, his enemies mocked him, ridiculed him, threatened him, and attempted to intimidate him.
They even spread false accusations suggesting that he was rebelling against the king.
Their objective was to discourage him and stop the work God had placed before him. Many times, people who do not like the ministry work you are doing will go out of their way to try and stop you and the work you are doing, but God sees all of it.
Nehemiah 4:1-3 describes the mockery of Sanballat and Tobiah.
Nehemiah 6:5-9 records false accusations and intimidation designed to make Nehemiah afraid.
Nehemiah refused to allow their manipulation to stop him. He stayed faithful to God.
Nehemiah 6:9 (KJV) records his prayer: “Now therefore, O God, strengthen my hands.”
The lesson: People who oppose what God has placed in your heart may attempt to destroy your confidence, discredit your character, and intimidate you into abandoning your purpose.
6. JEREMIAH: HE WAS MOCKED, RIDICULED, AND PERSECUTED FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH
Jeremiah 18:18–23; 20:1–18; 26:7–24; 37–38
Jeremiah faithfully delivered the messages God gave him, but many people did not want to hear the truth.
He was mocked, beaten, imprisoned, threatened, and thrown into a muddy dungeon.
Even those who should have listened to him became hostile toward him.
Jeremiah 20:7-8 describes Jeremiah’s anguish over the ridicule and reproach he endured.
Jeremiah 20:10 (KJV) records how he heard the defaming of many and how people were watching for him to stumble.
People were not merely disagreeing with Jeremiah. They wanted to see him fail.
The lesson: Being rejected, ridiculed, and misrepresented does not automatically mean you are doing something wrong. People oppose the truth because they do not want their conduct exposed.
7. MICAIAH: HE WAS SLAPPED AND IMPRISONED FOR REFUSING TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANTED TO HEAR
1 Kings 22:1-28; 2 Chronicles 18:1-27
King Ahab wanted a favorable prophecy concerning a military campaign. Hundreds of prophets gave him the answer he wanted.
But Micaiah refused to manufacture a pleasing message.
When Micaiah spoke the truth, Zedekiah struck him on the cheek, and Ahab ordered that Micaiah be imprisoned.
1 Kings 22:14 (KJV) records Micaiah declaring that he would speak only what the LORD told him.
The lesson: Some people will celebrate those who tell them what they want to hear and persecute those who tell them the truth.
8. JESUS: RELIGIOUS LEADERS ACCUSED HIM, MISREPRESENTED HIM, AND ATTEMPTED TO DISCREDIT HIM
Matthew 9:10-13; Matthew 12:1-14; Matthew 12:22-32; Matthew 23:1-36; Matthew 26:57-68; Mark 3:1-6; Luke 11:37-54; John 8:1-59
Perhaps one of the most important biblical examples is Jesus Himself.
The religious leaders repeatedly watched Him, questioned Him, criticized Him, and met secretly in an attempt to find something against Him.
When Jesus healed people, they criticized Him.
When He showed compassion, they accused Him.
When He confronted their hypocrisy with truth, they became increasingly hostile.
In Matthew 12:10-14, Jesus healed a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath, and the Pharisees immediately began plotting how they might destroy Him because they were envious toward Jesus.
In Mark 3:1-6, they watched Him closely, not because they wanted to celebrate the healing, but because they wanted something to accuse Him of.
In Matthew 12:24, they attributed His miraculous works to the power of Beelzebub (the prince of devils). In reality, they were accusing Jesus of worshiping and serving Satan by their accusations.
They even attempted to discredit the works of God by making evil accusations against the One performing them.
Jesus did not remain silent about their hypocrisy.
Matthew 23:27–28 (KJV) describes the Pharisees as outwardly appearing righteous to men while inwardly being full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
John 5:42 (KJV) records Jesus telling them that they did not have the love of God in them. The religious leaders in Jesus’ day rejected truth and replaced it with lies and hypocrisy to appear as if they were leaders who were worshiping and serving God, but the reality is they were the ones who were worshiping Satan by their actions and hypocrisy. Jesus called them that their father was actually Satan in John 8:44
The lesson: Religious appearances do not prove that someone possesses the love, compassion, mercy, or character of God. Jesus exposed religious hypocrisy and refused to allow outward appearances to conceal inward wickedness.
9. STEPHEN: RELIGIOUS PEOPLE USED FALSE WITNESSES AGAINST HIM
Acts 6:8-15; 7:1-60
Stephen was a man full of faith and power who performed great wonders and miracles among the people.
But those who opposed him could not withstand the wisdom and spirit by which he spoke.
Instead of honestly addressing the truth, they secretly persuaded men to become false witnesses against him.
They accused him of speaking blasphemous words and brought him before the council.
Acts 6:11-13 describes how false witnesses were arranged against Stephen.
He was eventually murdered by stoning at the hands of religious evil and zealous people.
The lesson: False witnesses and coordinated accusations are not new. Scripture records religious opposition using deception to silence someone whose message they did not want to hear.
10. JESUS WAS BETRAYED, FALSELY ACCUSED, AND PUBLICLY HUMILIATED
Matthew 26:47-68; Matthew 27:11-31; Mark 14:43-65; Luke 22:47-71; John 18-19
Jesus experienced betrayal by Judas, abandonment by many of His followers, false accusations before religious authorities, mockery, humiliation, and public suffering.
People who had witnessed His goodness participated in or permitted His mistreatment.
False witnesses came forward, accusations were made, and He was condemned despite the absence of a just basis for the charges.
Matthew 26:59-60 records how the chief priests and council sought false witness against Jesus.
1 Peter 2:22-23 explains that Jesus had never committed any sin, neither was guile found in His mouth, and when He was reviled, He did not revile again.
The lesson: Being falsely accused does not make the accusation true. Jesus demonstrated that a person can be completely innocent while being publicly portrayed as guilty.
GOD SEES THE TEARS THAT OTHER PEOPLE IGNORE
People may not see what happens behind closed doors.
They may not know how many nights you cried, how many times you attempted to make peace, how many times you were rejected, or how much emotional suffering you endured.
They may only see the moment you finally lost your composure.
But God sees the entire account and will judge them for the evil deeds they commited.
Psalm 56:8 (KJV) says:
“Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?”
God does not overlook tears.
Psalm 34:18 (KJV) says that the LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart.
Psalm 147:3 (KJV) says that He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Exodus 3:7 (KJV) records God telling Moses that He had surely seen the affliction of His people, heard their cry, and knew their sorrows.
Psalm 10:14 (KJV) declares that God sees mischief and spite and takes notice of the helpless.
Hebrews 4:13 (KJV) reminds us that all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.
One may be able to hide your cruelty from a congregation, but they cannot hide it from God.
EVILDOERS DO NOT GET TO KEEP WOUNDING PEOPLE AND THEN USE THEIR BLOOD AS EVIDENCE THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THEM
There is something particularly wicked about deliberately hurting someone and then using their suffering to discredit them.
Imagine repeatedly wounding a person, provoking them, rejecting them, humiliating them, and then telling everyone how emotionally unstable they are because they finally expressed their pain.
Imagine causing someone to cry and then mocking them for crying.
Imagine continually mistreating someone and then accusing them of being difficult because they no longer tolerate the mistreatment.
Imagine making false accusations against someone and then claiming that their attempts to defend themselves prove they are unreasonable.
This is not the behavior of someone demonstrating the love of Christ.
Proverbs 17:15 (KJV) says:
“He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination to the LORD.”
Isaiah 5:20 (KJV) warns against calling evil good and good evil.
Proverbs 24:24-25 warns against justifying the wicked and explains that those who reprove the wicked will have blessing.
Psalm 35:11-12 describes David’s experience with false witnesses who laid to his charge things that he knew not, rewarding him evil for good.
Psalm 55:12-14 describes the particular anguish of betrayal by someone who had once been a close companion.
Psalm 109:2-5 describes wicked mouths, lying tongues, hateful words, and the repayment of evil for good.
The Bible does not excuse cruelty simply because the person committing it has a religious title, attends church, participates in ministry, or enjoys a favorable reputation.
GOD WILL REPAY THE WICKED
Their hatred is not hidden from God.
Their slander is not hidden from God.
Their false accusations are not hidden from God.
Their secret conversations are not hidden from God.
Their deliberate attempts to destroy another person’s reputation are not hidden from God.
Their hypocrisy is not hidden from God.
Their mistreatment of the vulnerable is not hidden from God.
And their religious gatherings do not provide immunity from His coming judgment.
Romans 12:19 (KJV) says:
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
Deuteronomy 32:35 (KJV) declares that vengeance and recompense belong to God.
Galatians 6:7 (KJV) warns that whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Proverbs 22:8 (KJV) says that he who sows iniquity shall reap vanity.
Colossians 3:25 (KJV) says that he who doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done, and there is no respect of persons.
2 Thessalonians 1:6 (KJV) declares that it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to those who trouble His people. In this same chapter, the wicked are burned in Hell on judgment day.
Ecclesiastes 3:17 (KJV) reminds us that God shall judge the righteous and the wicked.
Nahum 1:3 (KJV) reminds us that the LORD is slow to anger, great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked. All evildoers will pay for their wicked deeds.
One by one, God knows how to bring the works of the wicked into judgment. He knows how to humble the proud, expose deception, and bring hidden wrongdoing into the light.
We do not have to take vengeance into our own hands. We are commanded to leave judgment to God.
DO NOT LET THEIR ACCUSATIONS MAKE YOU FORGET WHO YOU ARE
One of the most damaging consequences of prolonged mistreatment is that the person suffering may eventually begin believing the accusations made against them.
They may start questioning their own character and self-worth.
They may repeatedly replay conversations, wondering whether they were wrong to cry, wrong to become upset, wrong to defend themselves, or wrong to finally establish boundaries, and question themselves if it was right to stand up and call what has been done to them evil.
They may begin apologizing for things they did not do while the people responsible for their suffering refuse to acknowledge their own conduct, failing to realize what they did was evil, and God will bring it all into account.
But Scripture teaches us to examine ourselves honestly without accepting false guilt.
2 Corinthians 13:5 teaches believers to examine themselves. This includes those who refuse to repent and stop doing evil towards others.
Psalm 26:2 records David asking God to examine him and prove him.
1 Peter 3:16 encourages believers to maintain a good conscience so that those who falsely accuse their good conduct may be ashamed.
Isaiah 54:17 (KJV) declares:
“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn.”
This does not mean that you will never experience opposition or false accusations. It means that the accusations of others do not have the final authority over your standing before God.
You do not have to accept a “false identity” created by people who refuse to acknowledge their own wrongdoing.
At the same time, we must remain willing to examine our own actions, repent when we are wrong, and refuse to repay evil with evil.
Ephesians 4:26 (KJV) says:
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.”
Having an emotional reaction does not automatically make someone wicked. But neither does being mistreated give us permission to sin against others.
God calls all of us to truth, righteousness, repentance, and self-control.
TRUE REPENTANCE REQUIRES MORE THAN RELIGIOUS APPEARANCES
Some people want the benefits of reconciliation without accepting the responsibilities of repentance.
They want everyone to move on, restore relationships, attend church together, share meals, and pretend nothing happened.
But genuine repentance is not simply saying a few religious words or saying “I am sorry”; repentance is when one STOPS committing the evil.
Proverbs 28:13 (KJV) says:
“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”
Luke 3:8 (KJV) teaches:
“Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance.”
Matthew 3:8 likewise calls for fruits meet for repentance.
2 Corinthians 7:10-11 explains that godly sorrow produces repentance and describes the seriousness, diligence, and changed attitude that accompany genuine repentance.
Matthew 5:23-24 teaches the importance of seeking reconciliation when a brother has something against you. This does NOT mean you accept or allow their evil actions to continue.
Luke 17:3-4 teaches that when a brother trespasses, he should be rebuked, and if he repents, forgiveness should follow.
These Scriptures do not teach that victims must pretend nothing happened, ignore repeated wrongdoing, or immediately restore trust with someone who continues to behave destructively.
Forgiveness, reconciliation, and restored trust are not identical things.
A person can refuse to harbor hatred while still maintaining necessary boundaries.
A person can forgive without returning to an unsafe relationship.
A person can desire someone’s repentance without placing themselves back into the circumstances that caused the original harm.
GOD DOES NOT EXPECT YOU TO CALL WICKEDNESS RIGHTEOUSNESS
Proverbs 27:5 (KJV) says:
“Open rebuke is better than secret love.”
Ephesians 5:11 (KJV) says:
“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.”
Isaiah 1:17 (KJV) commands God’s people to learn to do well, seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, and defend the fatherless.
Micah 6:8 teaches that God requires people to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Him.
Zechariah 7:9–10 commands true judgment, mercy, compassion, and the refusal to oppress the vulnerable.
James 1:27 describes pure religion as including care for the fatherless and widows in their affliction and keeping oneself unspotted from the world.
A Church should never become a hiding place for cruelty, hypocrisy, slander, manipulation, or the mistreatment of people who are already suffering.
A church gathering does not make wrongdoing disappear.
A Sunday service does not erase the responsibility to repent, yet many preachers today, preaching behind pulpits, ignore the topic of repentance.
A religious title does not excuse a lack of compassion.
And sitting around enjoying chicken dinners after church does not make everything righteous when people are being mistreated, hurt, and abused behind closed doors.
God is concerned with what happens outside the church building just as much as what happens inside it.
I hope this blog has helped those who have experienced hurt from religious leaders and others who call themselves Christians.