What A True Friend Looks Like According to the Bible

By Pastor Joel – Open Heaven Christian Church – Fisher, Arkansas

Discover what the bible teaches about friends. Not everyone you may call a friend is a true friend as you will learn in this study blog.

The Lord wants everyone to have close friends because having and making friends is an important aspect of life, but you must learn how to pick your friends wisely or your life could become ruined. 

Friendship is one of God’s most precious gifts. The Bible gives us powerful examples of what a true friend is — and what a true friend is not. Scripture doesn’t leave us guessing; it paints clear pictures through real people, real stories, and real consequences.

Let’s explore both sides of what a true friends are like, and what false friends are like.

In this blog we will first look biblical examples found in scripture of what a true friend looks like, then we will explore the characteristics of people found in the scriptures who acted as a friend but were “false friends” that really did not care and had bad intentions to sabotage their lives.

This biblical study on friends is important to understand because many today do not realize that some people who are in their lives are really not a true friend.

What a True Friend Is (Biblical Examples)

1. Loyal — Even in Hard Times

Jonathan & David

1 Samuel 18-20

“The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” 1 Samuel 18:1

Jonathan remained loyal to David even when his own father, King Saul, wanted David dead. He warned David, protected him, and put righteousness above personal gain.

A true friend stands with you even when it costs them something.

2. Honest — Willing to Correct You because they truly care

Nathan & David

2 Samuel 12

After David sinned with Bathsheba, Nathan confronted him boldly.

“Thou art the man.” 2 Samuel 12:7

Nathan didn’t flatter David — he corrected him. That confrontation led David to repentance.

A true friend tells you the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

3. Faithful in Love

Ruth & Naomi

Book of Ruth

“Whither thou goest, I will go…” Ruth 1:16

Ruth stayed with Naomi when she had nothing to offer her — no wealth, no security, no future.

A true friend stays when others leave or abandon you.

4. Supportive in Prayer and Burden

Moses & Aaron

Exodus 17:8-12

When Moses’ hands grew heavy during battle, Aaron and Hur held them up.

A true friend helps carry your burdens when you grow weary.

5. Sacrificial

Jesus Christ

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

Jesus defines the highest form of friendship: sacrifice.

A true friend puts love into action and will be willing to sacrifice everything to help his or her friend.

6. Sharpens and Improves You

Solomon (Author of the book of Proverbs)

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Proverbs 27:17

True friends strengthen your character and faith in God. They will always speak words that will sharpen you because they really care about you. Sharpening one another is common and natural in true friendship relationships.

7. Steadfast Like Family

Solomon

“A friend loveth at all times…” Proverbs 17:17

A true friend’s love is not seasonal. True friendships last for an eternity. Real friends will always love you and never stop loving for any reason. They are there for you no matter what happens in life and will love you at “all” times. This is a real friend who will love you like a loving family member who will never forsake you!

What a True Friend Is Not (Biblical Examples)

1. A Flatterer

Absalom

2 Samuel 15

Absalom stole the hearts of Israel through charm and flattering speech — pretending loyalty while planning rebellion.

False friends use words to manipulate you through flattery. They will use deceptive speech to get your attention first but their real motive never lines up with what the bible says to do. They will act as if they care about you but their “speeches” will always try to lead you to rebellion against the word of God.

2. A Betrayer

Judas Iscariot Who Betrayed Jesus

Matthew 26:14-16, and Matthew 26:47-50

Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss.

“Friend, wherefore art thou come?” Matthew 26:49-50

A false friend may look close — but act in secret betrayal. They will act affectionate toward you until their real intent is accomplished, they may hug and even kiss you on the cheek to try and make you feel loved by them but in their heart they want your life destroyed. The will betray you in the presences of others in what they can gain by using you for their gain. This is exactly what Judas did to Jesus. Judas acted as if was friends with Jesus but betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Matthew 26:14-16

“14Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went unto the chief priests, 15And said unto them, What will ye give me, and I will deliver him unto you? And they covenanted with him for thirty pieces of silver. 16And from that time he sought opportunity to betray him.”

DELILAH BETRAYS SAMSON Judges 16:18

A woman in the Bible called Delilah betrayed Samson primarily for financial gain, accepting a massive bribe of 1,100 pieces of silver from each Philistine ruler to discover the secret of his strength. This is exactly what a false friend will do, they want to study your strengths only to plot a better plan on how they can destroy you as in the case of Samson and Delilah.

As a resident of the Sorek Valley near Philistine territory, she acted out of greed, lack of romantic loyalty, or political alignment with the Philistines. 

Key Reasons for the Betrayal:

• Immense Wealth: The Philistine lords offered a combined fortune to find and neutralize Samson.

• Political Allegiance/Pressure: Living in a region under Philistine control, Delilah may have been compelled to act against an enemy of her people.

• Lack of Genuine Love: Despite their intimate relationship, her actions suggest she did not love him and prioritized short-term gain over the relationship.

  Although she nagged him until he revealed the secret of his Nazirite vow (his uncut hair), the primary driver was the greed and incentive offered by the Philistine leadership.

Not every “romantic encounter” is from the Lord because the devil can also send you someone who you think is a loving person but in all actuality they will plot evil against you to destroy your life if you are not discerning and guard yourself from delusional love that many in the world are practicing and experiencing everyday.

God has the right person for you to fall in love with, and God will connect you with them in his perfect time, but God will never send someone like a “Delilah” into your life to befriend and decieve. You must be patient and discerning because there are countless of “gold-diggers” like Delilah who could care less about you and the only interest they have about your worth is how much money or power they can gain and drain from you by befriending you, and by making you think that they are in “love” with you. This delusional love is rampant in the world and many cannot see the destruction that has been plotted againt them until it happens because they have allowed a friendship that God never inteded for them.  

You must pay close attention to their behaviors to see if they are really a friend or a foe that the devil has sent to destroy you. If someone shows love toward you for any other reason then to love you for who you are then you are being decieved by them. Real love is not selfish nor does it place any conditions on a relationship or friedships. Real love never seeks her own interest, but the interest of others as taught in the scriptures.

1 Corinthians 13:5 – “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.”

Samson was hurt because Delilah managed to have Samson open his heart and tell her all of his personal life. Judges 16:17

As soon as Delilah had the information she need to destroy Samson she betrayed Samson. Judges 16:18

The moral of this story about Samson and Delilah is NEVER fall in love with someone you have not gotten to know, and do not open your heart and tell all of your strengths or weakness to until it is safe to do so. Lastly, wait on the Lord to bring you a “godly” person who will love you!

My guess is that Delilah proably died a lonley and miserable person who never had real friends in life.

Sadly enough, many will do the same and go to their graves miserable and lonley because they do not understand two very important things in life about building true friendships with those who love and fear the Lord:

1.  God wants them to focus on building godly friendships with like-minded God fearing people.
2.  And, how to treat and respect the godly friends that God puts in front of them.

3. One Who Forsakes You in Trouble

Demas

2 Timothy 4:10

“Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world…”

Demas abandoned the Apostle Paul when things became difficult.

A false friend disappears when loyalty becomes costly. Even in ministry within the church their may be people who will stick around as long as everything seems to be going great, but when confronted with truth and difficulties they disappear from your life, these are really not a true friend, they are “fair-weathered” acquaintances and not a real friend.

Another indicator that they may not be a real friend is that they love the world and put worldly things above God and the ministry. It is better for them to leave you alone or they will drag you and your ministry calling down if you keep them as a friend.

“For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica; Crescens to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia.” – 2 Timothy 4:10

The bible is clear in that anyone who loves this present world is an enemy of God, and that is exactly what Demas did when he broke fellowship and friendship with the Apostle Paul, and Paul knew and discerned why Demas did that.

“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” – 1 John 2:15-16

When Demas decided to prefer the world instead of building a stronger friendship relationship with the Apostle Paul, he was making a bold statement that he preferred a “friendship” with the world instead of God and His Apostle called Paul.

Demus’ choice of friendship showed his true colors and his heart was leading him to become an enemy of God. Satan was doing a number on Demus by preferring the world instead of the of God and godly friendships.

“Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” – James 4:4

4. Bad Company That Corrupts

Solomon

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” Proverbs 13:20

Not every companion is a friend. Choose who your true friends are wisely.

5. One Who Wounds Deceitfully

Solomon

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Proverbs 27:6

False friendship feels pleasant but hides harm.

6. One Who Influences You to Sin

Job & his friends

Book of Job

Job’s friends accused him falsely and misrepresented God. Though they spoke much, they did not speak rightly Job 42:7

Not all advice is godly advice coming from people who we think are our friends.

The Ultimate Contrast: Worldly vs. Godly Friendship

“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly…” Proverbs 18:24

The Bible shows two paths:

Final Reflection

The clearest example of true friendship is found in Jesus Christ, who calls His followers friends John 15:15. He loved faithfully, corrected gently, sacrificed completely, and never abandoned those who trust Him.

True friendship, according to the Bible, is not about convenience — it is about covenant.

May we seek friends like Jonathan.
May we avoid friends like Judas.
And most importantly, may we strive to be the kind of friend Scripture commands us to be.

Conclusion:

Choosing godly friends does not mean that you will not interact with ungodly people in life. Both godly and ungodly people are on the earth and you will have interactions with ungodly people like in the workplace, schools, or other public places. The difference is who you allow in your life as a friend will determine how much peace and joy you will experience in life!

As believers and followers of Jesus we should also understand that those who we interact with that are living an ungodly life are in our lives so we can be a light to them. “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.” – Matthew 5:14

As a young man my dad would always remind me to never make “close friends” with people who do not fear the Lord. As a young man I would wonder why my dad would say to me these words: “Tell me who you hang with and I will tell you who you will become.” Today I understand clearly why my dad would say those wise words!

The Bible makes it clear that choosing your friends wisely is not optional but essential for your spiritual health and growth. Scripture warns in Book of Proverbs that “he that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed” – Proverbs 13:20, emphasizing that our associations shape our character and direction. Likewise, 1 Corinthians 15:33 declares, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners,” reminding believers that worldly influences can quietly erode godly convictions. True friendship, as reflected in biblical teaching and reinforced in James 4:4 (…whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God), aligns with loyalty to God rather than friendship with the world, which places one at enmity with Him. Therefore, selecting friends who fear the Lord, speak truth, encourage righteousness, and hold us accountable is vital, because worldly companions may offer temporary acceptance but cannot provide the spiritual sharpening, faithfulness, and eternal perspective that define genuine, godly friendships.

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