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💖 The Four Kinds of Love in the Bible — Waiting on God’s Perfect Love and Marriage
By Pastor Joel – Open Heaven Christian Church
📖 Key Scripture:
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
— Matthew 19:6 (KJV)
🌿 Introduction: Love as God Designed It
Love is one of the most powerful words in the Bible — yet also one of the most misunderstood. Today, the world often confuses lust for love, and emotion for devotion. Many rush into relationships and even marriages that God never ordained, trying to “make love work” through their own efforts rather than waiting on God to unite them with the one He has chosen for them.
Getting ahead of God and his will for marriage can create many adversities in ones life especially if they marry someone who is not a committed believer in Jesus Christ. The Bible actually teaches believers to do this.
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
— 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)
The Bible gives us a clear, divine pattern of love — revealed through four distinct Greek words used to describe love in its purest forms: Agape, Philia, Storge, and Eros.
Understanding these not only deepens our walk with God, but also teaches us how to build relationships and marriages rooted in His will — and not based on our own will or fleshly desires.
💫 1. Agape — The God Kind of Love
Agape is the highest, most selfless form of love — God’s unconditional love. It is not based on attraction, feelings, or benefit. It is the love that gives without expecting anything in return.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
— Romans 5:8 (KJV)
This is the foundation of every godly relationship and marriage. A marriage that God joins together must be built on Agape, not convenience or emotion. Agape forgives, endures, and sacrifices. It is patient in waiting for God’s timing and does not try to force things to happen.
When two people wait for God to bring them together, He binds them with Agape — a love that reflects Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:25). But when people rush ahead of God, they often build relationships on emotion or desire, which cannot stand the test of time.
💡 True love waits — not just for the right person, but for the right season God ordains.
🤝 2. Philia — The Love of Friendship
Philia is brotherly love — the deep affection and companionship shared between friends who walk in unity and truth.
“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.”
— Romans 12:10 (KJV)
In marriage, Philia is the friendship that keeps love alive beyond romance. Many couples fall in love emotionally, but few remain friends spiritually and emotionally. Friendship in marriage means walking together in agreement, communication, and mutual respect.
When God brings two people together, He also establishes Philia between them — they not only love each other, but like each other. They share common faith, goals, and purpose.
Those who rush into relationships without spiritual friendship often find themselves emotionally disconnected later, because the foundation of friendship was never laid.
🏡 3. Storge — The Love of Family and Belonging
Storge is the natural, affectionate love found within families — parents for children, and siblings for each other.
“As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem.”
— Isaiah 66:13 (KJV)
When God joins a man and woman in marriage, He creates a new family unit built upon Storge — a love that nurtures, protects, and provides. This is the love that says, “You are my home.” It is gentle, dependable, and rooted in care.
Sadly, many modern relationships lack this element because they are not founded on Agape or Philia first. Instead of allowing God to unite them and grow familial affection naturally, people build homes without His blessing — and the result is division, not unity.
God’s way is perfect: He joins, He builds, He sustains.
Our role is to wait on Him to bring the right person and create that bond through His Spirit.
❤️🔥 4. Eros — The Love of Romance and Passion
Eros refers to romantic or passionate love. Though the Greek word itself does not appear in the New Testament, its concept is seen throughout Scripture in God’s design for marriage.
“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.”
— Proverbs 5:18 (KJV)
Eros is a beautiful gift from God — when it is expressed within the covenant of marriage. Outside of marriage, it becomes lust and leads to sin (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Within marriage, it strengthens emotional and physical intimacy between husband and wife.
Within Eros love, the Lord emphasizes that both the husband and the wife have equal mutual authority over their physical body when it comes to intimate physical relation.
“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”
— 1 Corinthians 7:4 (KJV)
This is much broader when it comes to marital physical intimacy, it is not one-sided control except for time or season when a married couple agree not to become physically intimate with consent from each other so they can dedicate themselves to seeking the Lord in fasting and prayer as taught in scripture.
“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.”
— 1 Corinthians 7:5-6 (KJV)
However, Eros must never come before Agape. When passion leads instead of purity, hearts are wounded and marriages are weakened. Waiting on God to bring your spouse ensures that passion will be holy, blessed, and guided by the Spirit, not driven by fleshly desires.
💍 Eros is safe only when guarded by Agape in marriage.
🙏 Waiting on God’s Perfect Timing in Marriage
The Bible makes it clear — “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:6).
This means not every marriage is one that God has joined together. Some unions are born out of impatience, loneliness, or fleshly attraction rather than divine guidance from God.
When we wait on God, He orchestrates everything perfectly — aligning hearts, timing, and purpose. His love is never rushed, and His plan is never flawed. A marriage united by God will reflect Agape (divine love), Philia (friendship), Storge (family affection), and Eros (holy passion).
But a marriage born out of human will may have Eros without Agape, or passion without friendship — and these cannot stand.
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”
— Proverbs 3:5 (KJV)
💎 Conclusion: Let God Write Your Love Story
Love is not something we manufacture; it’s something we receive from God and reflect toward others.
If you are waiting for marriage, don’t be discouraged. God’s timing is perfect, and His plans are always for your good. Let Him prepare you to love like He loves — with Agape, Philia, Storge, and Eros in their proper order.
“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”
— Psalm 37:4 (KJV)
When God is the author of your love story, you will find peace, purity, and permanence — for what He joins together, no one can tear apart.
✝️ Call to Reflection
Ask yourself:
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Is my idea of love shaped by the world or by God’s Word?
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Am I waiting on God’s timing, or am I trying to make things happen my own way?
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Does my love reflect Agape — unconditional and pure — or is it based on emotion and circumstance?
May we all seek to love as Christ loved us — patiently, selflessly, and in obedience to the Father’s perfect will.
When a believer is considering marriage they should look at the characteristics of love according to the bible and examine their life and the life of the person they are considering to marry to see if they are ready to engage in a Holy Spirit led marriage that God may bring together.
1 Corinthians 13 – Love
1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
#Four Kinds of Love in the Bible #Agape #Philia #Storge #Eros
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